


Coming out

by starhugger



Category: Blood Is Peace
Genre: Coming Out, Genderfluid Gabe Parker, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starhugger/pseuds/starhugger
Summary: Gabe has some bottled up emotions that are beginning to burst.





	Coming out

Morning light faintly shone through the curtains, illuminating Gabe’s pale skin as his eyes fluttered open. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he yawned, stretching and stumbling out of his comfortable bed. His eyes traced over to his binder and day clothes, then to the pajamas he was wearing, and decided to screw it. He didn’t need to take off his comfy clothes just yet.

He quietly walked downstairs, silence surrounding the house except for faint sounds of birds chirping. As he started brewing some coffee, he peered out the window, and, just as expected, he saw chickadees perched up on branches outside. A faint, almost ghostly smile brushed across his lips; he always put bird food outside to attract them.

Not knowing where Zeke was didn’t concern him currently. He was probably out somewhere, maybe at the store or talking to one of his friends elsewhere. As much as he loved his partner, he couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed occasional alone time.

In a few minutes, he’s sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and watching the birds outside. Splayed in front of him were some books on bird watching, as well as his camera. Does he already have tons of pictures of likely the same birds? Yes, but he didn’t really care anyways. He managed to restrain himself and only take a couple… dozen.

Curling up in his blanket, he drank his tea while scanning through his books, which he surely knew like the back of his hand. The edges were worn and falling off in some areas, proving that he’s had these books for a very, very long time. He stole them, actually, from the old mental hospital he used to reside in.

When he’s finally done putting his camera in a safe spot, and put the books away, he laid down on the couch, his eyes still wide open.

He felt feminine today.

That wasn’t something he openly said very much, even in his own head. When he’s with his boyfriend, or doing something, it’s easy for him to distract himself from his own thoughts, even if they were desperately trying to break free. But when he’s alone? He doesn’t have that anymore. His thoughts swam around in his head to the point of getting a migraine, making him groan softly in annoyance.

 _“No,”_ he thought. “ _I’m not coming out.”_

It felt… dangerous to even consider such a thing. Ever since seeing _his_ true colors, he didn’t even want to imagine what Zeke would think if he knew about Gabe being genderfluid. Even Gabe _himself_ hadn’t exactly come to accept himself for who he really is, instead cramming all his emotions into a metal safe that he would never try to open. But he knew, deep down, that his walls were coming down. He knew what he was, even if it was hard, and now that he’s gotten so close to Zeke…

Maybe he should do this. Just maybe.

He went up to his room, then, closing the door behind him. He found himself pacing back and forth, thinking about it through his head over and over again. What would he say? What should his tone of voice be? Should he even do this?

The worst case scenario, of course, was spinning in the back of his head like a rolling film. He breathed in, stressed, as he bounced his foot up and down and nervously chewed at the hem of his pajama shirt. How would he ever be able to _tell Zeke?_ Where would he go if Zeke kicked him out?

But then, he heard it. The door open and close from downstairs. Zeke was home, far before he had enough time to make a solid plan.

“Gabe?” he heard Zeke call.

Gabe flinched, before taking in a long breath of air. He closed his eyes, exhaling. He could do this. He could do this. He could do this.

Taking each step down the stairs felt like another kick in the gut. His knees wobbled, his heart pounded, and he must have been sweating. When Zeke finally got to see him, his face immediately dropped.

“Gabe? Are you… Are you sick?” He asked, coming over and pressing a cold hand to Gabes forehead. He smiled, but it was forced.   
“N…No. I’m o-okay.” Gabe responded. Zeke seemed to catch onto his trembling fast, though.

“Is something wrong?” Zeke questioned, sounding even more panicked, and Gabe gulped.

“Not particularly.” Gabe said. “I just…”

He looked down. “I need to tell you something.”

“Oh?” Zeke said, his eyebrow raising.

 _‘Yeah. Um. I’m genderfluid. Hope you don’t mind or anything.’_  
‘I’m genderfluid. Do you still love me?’  
‘Yeah, it’s chill. I’m just genderfluid.’

Thousands of different ways of saying this came to his head, and suddenly, he heard himself sniffle. Tears slowly began to fall down his face, and Gabe wheezed as Zeke stared in horror.

“Z-Zeke-“ Gabe whispered, his voice cracking as his lip trembled. “I… I… Please don’t hate me- I just-“

“Gabe.” Zeke whispered, gently cupping the other’s cheeks and turning his face to face his warm eyes. Gabe’s eyes immediately softened, turning almost childlike in innocence.

“I’m genderfluid.” Gabe croaked out, blinking tears out of his puffy eyes.

He didn’t hear a response.

He looked down, starting to feel more and more panic rise in his chest, until suddenly it all comes crashing in-

Except it wasn’t. What he thought was cold, harsh anxiety turned out to be arms, securely wrapped around him and pulling him close. In what felt like only a second, he’s pulled tightly into Zeke’s chest, with a hand in his hair.

“Oh, Gabe…” Zeke whispered softly. “I’m so proud of you…”

Gabe seemed to freeze for a moment. “R-really?” he asked, barely coherent. He felt Zeke nod from above him, and a soft hum of confirmation. He sniffled again, before another wave of tears brought him back into Zeke’s chest, sobbing. He never realized he was keeping so much bottled in the back of his head, and he felt awful.

“Shh… It’s okay…” Zeke cooed, petting his hair, making Gabe slowly calm down once again. Zeke was quiet, breathing long and slow as he kept his partner close and safe in his arms.

“Love…” Zeke whispered, finally. “Were you… Scared to tell me? Is that why you never…-“

Gabe was waiting for this question, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

“I… I just… W-when I was with… Ce…-Our old boyfriend, I- I knew he didn’t like people like me, and I was worried that maybe-... m-maybe you’d hate it too. I couldn’t ever bring myself to tell him and I just shoved it back in my mind. I knew it was gross-“

Zeke breathed in sharply. “It is not gross.”

He suddenly pulled Gabe back, so he could stare deep into his eyes.

“Gabe, you are one of the most wonderful people I know. I love you, no matter what you are, and I am so proud of you for finally being able to tell me. You’ve come so far to get here, and it’s truly amazing.”

Gabe sniffled, and Zeke gently wiped his tears away, kissing his nose. “Tell you what.” He said. “Tomorrow we can go shopping for some pride gear. Maybe some dresses too. Sound fun?”

Gabe’s face slowly brightened up, until he’s beaming.   
“O-okay!” He said, eyes now sparkling excitedly. Zeke laughed, ruffling Gabe’s hair and bending down to peck his lips. Gabe giggled softly, eyes closing as he practically tackled Zeke into what was now a _much_ happier hug.

“That’s better…” Zeke said, smiling.

“Come on, let’s look for some stuff online.” He said, scooping Gabe up into his arms and carrying him up the stairs.


End file.
